Where For Art Thou?

I will tell you where I am... home. I am finally home after being a passenger in the car for about two hours as we drove needlessly around in the Vermont wilderness in the dark in search of money and avoiding black cats. What? Complex? Yes. Ridiculous? Yes. Funny? Yes. At least we all finally found the humor and spent some "quality time" together, or least that is what I am telling myself so I can feel better about it. It all started when I opened my big mouth and told my children that "Brave" and "Avengers" were playing at the drive-in. They were very excited about it and so was I. It seemed like a great idea until my friend told me that "Brave" started at 9:30 (after sundown)and "Avengers" started at 11:00. She said that the movies would not be over until well after 1:30 IN THE MORNING. Parenting dilema #1: Do I make my children happy tonight and cranky tomorrow due to utter exhaustion? What type of parent does this? I engaged them (my reasonable children) in a conversation about the late hour and how they would normally be in bed by the time the movie started. They took it like any other kids and refused to see what I was trying to tell them. They attempted Puss-in-boots faces, negotiating, and finally just simply gave in and said that they understood and did not blame me for saying no to the movie after all. What great kids. My oldest even said he knew that I was just trying to be a good mom and that it was "ok." But then my younger son, at about 9:00 came up and grabbed my hand, "Mom... are we really not going to the movie? Not even the first movie?" Parenting dilema #2: Should I give in? They have been working me hard for hours with the faces and the guilt and now the "innocent" clarification on how the rest of the evening was going to be. What type of parent does this? I completely lost my mind. "Fine!" I threw my hands into the air. "I give in! Let's go. It'll be great... even though both of you are going to be asleep in the car as we go across a mountain to get there! I can't wait to see a movie that starts at 9:30 at night! And then another one after that!" And then they looked up at me and said, "Oh mom... we don't have to go." "What?" I was dumnbfounded. "Oh, we're going! And not only that... we're going to have fun!" Famous last words. We stopped at the ATM on the way through town. My husband reached for his wallet. Nope. No wallet. I had mine. I gave him my debit card and announced the pin. Oops. Wrong pin. I gave him another pin. Nope. Wrong again. And another... ooops. "I have to type it to get it right," I said defensively. The ATM machine was angry at us. We drove over the mountain to go to the movie and decided to go to our bank in Randolph. By now, I knew the pin. I shouted the correct number out. It had come to me when I wasn't under such pressure. We drove through the ATM again. Correct pin number, but by that time the bank thought someone had stolen my card and is trying to get money out of my account. Nope. ATM will not release funds. Too many attempts! It was the right pin number, but the card would not work now. My husband decided we should try another bank instead of our bank. Nope" again. "I have the checkbook!" I announced. "I think we paid them a check before at the drive-in. Let's try that!" Nope. My husband would not give up. "We could go use the debit card in a gas station or store to buy something somewhere and take out extra cash." This time I said no. The closest store/gas station was miles away and I assumed the card would not work. I didn't want it to work by then. To me, the signs were very clear that we were not supposed to go to the movies tonight. Sometimes I have to pay attention. "It is just not meant to be!" I said. My husband and children couldn't quite wrap their minds around it. Suddenly a black cat crossed our path. I shouted to assure myself that my husband would not hit it. I am superstitious. Maybe you are too. I just really don't like when black cats cross in front of me. It feels like an omen of some sort. If we had seen the cat before we left home, I would have insisted that we stay home. "A black cat in our path. That's not good." The kids wanted me to explain why. I tried to lay it all out, the laws of the universe some of us buy into like open ladders and salt over the shoulder etc. I simply passed my ridiculous beliefs onto my children. Not good! We crossed the mountain discussing these important concepts. About halfway up the mountain, another black cat made the trek across the road in front of us. Now, instead of just me, I have the kids joining in on the insanity: "Ah! A black cat!" We all shouted at my husband. We rounded a corner and drove close to the edge of the road where our recent hurricane had taken a guardrail. My son laughed hysterically at the thought of avoiding a black cat and careening over a cliff. We almost made it home without seeing another black cat, but we went through a section in the hollow called "Julie's Ark"- a farm with hundreds of cats (and hundreds of other cute creatures). We were almost to the corner when a black cat darted out and we ALL (including my husband) shouted in response. He tried to argue that the cat was brown, but the rest of the family wouldn't hear of it. "It's black! It's black!" We all shouted. It was bizarre. I have never seen so many cats out and about. There were more cats than other cars... you know, rural Vermont and all. "I just want to go home!" I shouted. "Me too!" Shouted the boys from the back. Ahh. Mission accomplished. My kids wanted to go home. Alls well that ends well. We had some quality time together, and we didn't even have to see the movie.